craigslist deer blind

hunting! this is how vegetarians hunt. bellies full of our one free shift meal (tofu salad with brown rice and cucumber-feta dressing), we scour craigslist for apartments and jobs.

one never knows. or at least, i never know. when asked if i would one day want to return to new york city, i would invariably and with certainty reply: "yes, absolutely, but not right away. someday." and yet here i am, not even a year later, struggling to get my foot back in the door, delighted at the prospect of slaving away at a thankless waitressing job so i can pay my $900 a month to share an apartment with a stranger in park slope.

there will be time, i tell myself, to see the world. there will be time to backpack pointlessly across europe for the sake, if we are being honest with ourselves, of the bragging rights. hell, if i'm being honest with myself, most of what i do i do for the bragging rights.

it was in that spirit that i used to peruse the missed connections on craigslist. it began as innocent curiosity and snowballed to where i read each and every ad whose title mentioned someone of my hair color. i broke the habit when i left new york. every once in a while, though, out of boredom, i'll go back to the missed connections page. and even though i've been out of sight for months, i still can't help but click the ones that fit my description: hidden by the camouflage of internet anonymity, remaining motionless, rifle at the ready, in the hopes of bagging that rarest of game, validation.

oh snap.