the seinfeld of blogs

Saturday, February 27, 2010

i think i dreamed about snood a couple times back then.

i just downloaded snood for my mac. remember snood?


really takes me back, man. like back to when the interwebs were all shiny and new and exciting, and people went in "chatrooms" a lot because the novelty of being able to connect with strangers from around the world hadn't worn off yet.

(of course now we have chatroulette makin it shiny and new once more, which is nice for the time being. i wonder how long it will take before chatroulette devolves into a medium that is purely about cybering and absolutely nothing else, ala chatrooms.)

haven't played snood since the whole fam was sharing one single, long-suffering PC that lived in a high-traffic area in between the kitchen and living room. oh the memories. i burned my first mix CD on that computer. we had napster. my bro and i were like, this changes everything. such promise in the air. and then we'd all take turns playing snood and trying to beat each other's high scores.

quality family bonding circa 2001. a simpler time.

this is also a snood tho-

which is weird because i totally had one of those around the same era. for horse shows. clearly i rode english. only in english horseback riding would they require you to wear a hair accessory that pompous which also happens to be called a "snood." i felt pretty baller in mine, no lie.

snood the game totally holds up, let me just say. it is old school free demo fun to be sure.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

86 the shepherd's pie

i wait tables at this terrible restaurant which is run by very well-meaning people who should not be running a restaurant. i'm getting pretty good at going up to people whose orders i've just taken and saying "so it turns out we're out of such-and-such a thing that you ordered, would you like to try thus-and-so instead?" or sometimes i mix it up and say "did you have a second choice?" i should start composing haiku...

i asked the kitchen
they said you are SOL
something else look good?

this used to embarrass me horribly when i worked at a real restaurant. i used to get horribly embarrassed a lot when i worked at a real restaurant, actually, and more often than not over things that weren't my fault at all; i just felt so dreadful when something would go wrong, i mean who can afford to go out to dinner too often these days so if something gets messed up then i've ruined your nice special evening out etc etc etc... and of course most people are dicks about it anyway, which doesn't help.

if i ran a restaurant, i would empower my employees. i would allow, nay, encourage my servers to behave like the staff at urban outfitters. customers would have to chase them down to have their orders taken. any belligerence would be received with the cold stare of a young, attractive service industry employee who knows he or she is not going to lose his or her job, and also that he or she is young and attractive.

i imagine we'd be open for three months, tops, but oh what a liberating three months.

also large headphones would be perfectly acceptable work attire.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

bitches gotta learn

hey hey it's the blogosphere! what is going on.

if anyone but my mom read this blog, i would throw out some kind of "hey guys how is 2010 treating you." just to break the ice. because if a blog was a puddle, there would be ice on this one for sure. or possibly a layer of unidentifiable scum, and some mosquito larvae. this puddle don't get splashed through too often.

hey mom, how is 2010 treating you?

so far i like 2010. it's a lot less confusing than 2009. but you know what, i don't trust that shit anymore. just when you think "hey, i've got this life thing down! i'm maturing and growing as a person! everything's gonna be ok!" something else confusing happens and you realize you're still basically fourteen years old. (said the 20 year old.)

my communications teacher is a polish immigrant in her 30s who hates america, and americans, with a fiery burning passion. this was not immediately evident, but every class it becomes more apparent. the final thirty minutes or so of our last class session consisted of her making scathing remarks about american hypocrisy, greed, and brutality, all of which were prefaced by "i don't mean any offense, but" and accompanied by an ingratiating - and very fixed - smile.

now, i try not to be "that kid" who always has to have something to contribute, but i had to say something. i felt she was lumping our entire nation into a single ugly stereotype; possibly one of the less sympathetic side characters from "king of the hill." i tried to explain to her, respectfully, that while we are by no means a perfect people, one must take into account that there exists a distinct dichotomy in the american attitude. we are right or left; red or blue; conservative or liberal. rarely, if ever, shall the twain meet. and a lot of what she was attacking us for - our attitude towards immigrants, our tendency to get involved in countries that don't want our involvement - is, unfortunately, an image that our right-leaning citizens have cultivated.

she basically ignored me, and i would have shut up except that she then went on to ridicule us for watching the news. "it's so unreliable," she said. "it's so controlled. you have no idea if what you are watching is the truth, and you do not take the time to find out."

"okay," says i, "i'm not disagreeing with you, but in what country CAN they be certain that the news they're seeing hasn't been censored or edited in any way?"

again she basically ignores me. "it just amazes me; you americans trust your government so explicitly."

"no, we don't!" i say. i'm staring at her. i'm not smiling. (she still is.) "no we don't."

i shut up after that. but i mean like seriously you guys.

no we don't.


that's what i thought.